|confusion.

here i am. all tired and drain. from all the tears and the heart wrenching news that i've heard from my grandma. went over my aunt's house to stay for a night to check out the place and also to spend a lil' quality time with her. i missed her. it felt so good to sleep in the same bedroom again. like how we use to when i was much younger. she taught me alot. cried so much when she asked.

"was it because i left, that's why you're like that now?"

i didn't have an answer to that. those tears just came. and i just kept on shaking my head. trying my very best to comfort her. i felt like i couldn't do anything. i felt so helpless. i needed someone there for me. cause i was breaking down. shredding.

got to know my loveLOVE a few days back. came from the same school and all. she's just adorable to begain with. but i do wish she stopped her whole self-inflictions. it made me feel so oblige to go and take care of her. to pamper her. to shower her with all the love and care. to tell her that it isn't the end of the world.

yet, i couldn't convince myself that very fact. so here she is. awaiting my blog. *grins. loveLOVE, you're just the sweetest la. don't start smiling from ear to ear when you see this all right? well, a few days back. chikini, kellyn, evan and me went off to meet my granny. she cooked this traditional homecooked meal for us. smiles* it was great! laughhs. kellyn was trying to dig for the leftovers of that boney fish. silly girl. you can have more of that soon la. no worries.

yups. short blog cause there are so much contents that i just can't say out.

|there's alot of breathing room, but i can hardly move. there is a lil' bit in me but everything in you. and baby, you're gone....